All morning I have been thinking and praying about what to write about today. Since Wednesday is usually the day I post testimonies, I was hoping to find one in my e-mail this morning. But there were none. I thought about posting one of my personal testimonies or a portion of one of my past Bible Studies, or even a chapter from one of my books, but to tell you the truth, I am not thinking in words today, as much as in pictures—one specific picture to be exact. The picture of a little lamb.
It all started last night when I received a message in answer to a question I had asked someone. I had been reading Ephesians 4 and verse 2 stuck in my mind. Always be humble and gentle. Instantly, the wheels began to turn as I thought about how my past definitions of humility and gentleness had caused me heart ache and robbed me of my identity. I immediately thanked the Lord that I was no longer wearing the counterfeit slave garments of false humility and niceness.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to hear other’s insight concerning the Word of God, so I sent out a message to someone I barely knew and asked for their insight. I was preparing for an enlightening discussion and sharing of some testimonies, but what I got back left me speechless. “Picture a lamb…”
After reading the rest of the description, I sat back in my chair and blankly stared at my computer screen. I wondered why tears were forming in the corners of my eyes. I closed my eyes trying to picture a gentle little lamb, but the lamb I saw had fangs and was roaring like a lion. It troubled me that I was having difficulty picturing a gentle creature, so I got up and went about my normal business, deciding I would try to picture the lamb later on that night.
Before bedtime, I closed my eyes and tried again. This time the little lamb was far in the distance. I asked the Lord why I was having such a difficult time with the gentle little lamb. There was no answer.
As I was studying the Word and writing notes this morning, I had pretty much convinced myself that I didn’t picture the lamb because I am a teacher and I learn differently. But then God reminded me of all of the times He speaks to me through visions. Why was I having so much trouble with this picture?
Believe it or not, as I write this I am getting my answer. Part of me still views gentleness as weakness. Because of his wounds, my ex-husband was nether kind nor gentle. And because of my wounds, my definitions of both kindness and gentleness caused me to have low self-worth and be subservient.
Since I now have been walking in the freedom of knowing who I am in Christ for quite a few years, I have a totally new understanding of who God is, who I am, and about how relationships should look. But I am also fully aware that because of His love and care for me, God is continuously healing and restoring the broken pieces of my life. Apparently, there is something deep in me that He is bringing to the surface for me to examine, to receive revelation about, and to release to Him.
I am not sure what wound He is beginning to reveal to heal because of this little lamb, but until I receive the full revelation, I will picture the lamb I can always easily picture. The Lamb that was slain for me before the foundations of the world. The lamb that holds me, His little lamb, close to His heart—my precious, beloved Savior and closest friend Jesus Christ.
May you and I always keep our eyes on the Lamb of God!
Be abundantly blessed,
Jeannie
“The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29 NKJV).
“And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world” (Revelation 13:8).