Five years ago, I returned to Corpus Christi to care for my mother and special needs sister and to help my father with his business. At the time I had no idea that I was heading into a season of healing and restoration with my father.
Because of His critical and controlling nature, I had not felt closely connected to my father. Through the years, as the Lord revealed His Father’s heart for me, I was able to see my earthy father in a new light and forgive him for the pain he had unknowingly caused me. I was so thankful that I had made peace with my father.
But in 2012, I learned that it’s easier to have peace in a relationship separated by over a thousand miles, than in the midst of daily chaos. Over the next few years, Daddy and I ended up learning a lot about each other. I had to draw boundaries; he had to learn to respect them. I had to see beyond his habits and words into his heart full of love. He had to be reassured of my love and learn to trust me. I had to give him opportunities to express his disappointments, and He had to allow me to have an occasional meltdown. We both had to learn to work together, to extend a lot of grace to each other, and to laugh lot, even when life hurt. Together we weathered the storms, and in the midst of holding on to God and on to each other we developed a closer relationship than I ever could have imagined, this side of heaven.
That is why I was apprehensive about calling him yesterday. During the years Daddy and I bonded, I transitioned in his eyes from the daughter who could do little right, to the daughter who could do no wrong. Now, most days he doesn’t even know that I am his daughter. He just remembers me as the wonderful woman who helped him out the last few years.
Alzheimer’s can be a vicious killer of relationship!
Thankfully, when I called it was a good time, and with some coaxing, He put together that I was His daughter. That is the best I can hope for at this stage in our lives. It’s funny, often during the past few years I wanted to run away from my father’s house. But now I am so very thankful that I had the opportunity to be there.
I am aware that If his Alzheimer’s continues to progress, there will soon be a day where I will be forgotten in the mind of my father. But I will always know that I will never be forgotten in his heart.
Before I called my earthy daddy to wish him “Happy Father’s Day,” I called out to my Daddy God in prayer. As I poured out my heart to Him, I was reminded of His love and care for me. It brought me great comfort to know that although my earthly father might forget who I am, I will always be in the heart and mind of my Heavenly Father…never to be forgotten.
Earthy Father’s are just that-earthly. Some have known how to love better than others. Some have not known how to love at all. But even the best father can only love In part.
I am so thankful that you and I have a Daddy God who can love us completely!
May we always remember that we are never forgotten.
May you be abundantly blessed,
Jeannie
“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:15-16a NLT).
“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close” (Psalm 27:10 NLT).
“Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Luke 12:6-7 NKJV).