My Father’s Eyes

Instead of writing a blog post today, the Lord told me to share one of the stories from my first book. He told me that someone needed it today. I love God’s heart! He is soooo good!

My Father’s Eyes

Once when I was praying for a battered woman to have a revelation of God’s love, I saw a picture of small drab squares of material in her head. As I continued to pray for her, the Lord told me that the pieces of material were quilt squares that represented bits of head knowledge that needed to be transformed through revelation and sewed in her heart. Although, at the time, I had some understanding of what God was showing me, the message really hit home one afternoon when I was babysitting my good friend’s daughter.

The little darling was a strong-willed, wide-eyed, brunette who was at the height of her terrible twos. Needless to say she was a bit of a challenge. After one particular trying morning of continuous temper tantrums, she fell asleep in my arms. Not only had she exhausted herself, but me as well. I remember thinking, as I held the toddler, “Thank God she is asleep!” About that time her father arrived.

After coming in the house and taking a few steps into the room, He threw his hands up in the air and sighed. Then he came over to the couch where I was holding his child. I watched in stunned silence as he knelt and reached over and touched his daughter’s face. With an expression of awe and adoration he whispered, “Isn’t she beautiful?! Isn’t she just beautiful?!”

“Beautiful? I thought to myself. “What is he talking about? She’s a little terror!” I watched his fingers gently caress his daughter’s cheek. Then I raised my eyes and studied his face. His tender expression of adoration both confused and captivated me. I felt a stirring in the depths of my soul. Then I saw a glimpse of his heart for his daughter. When I looked back down at his daughter’s face, I saw her through her daddy’s eyes. She was absolutely beautiful! I was still trying to take it all in, when my Father God tenderly spoke to my spirit, “That’s how I see you.”

In that instant a significant part of my childhood was re-written. Images of the disappointment on my father’s face and the frustration in his words to me were shattered. I was no longer the little girl who couldn’t “do enough” or “be good enough.” I was now “the adored one,” God’s beautiful child. It was as if God went into my head and found the little drab piece of cloth that I had stored away—the one labeled “Loving Father,” pierced it with the needle of truth and transformed it into a piece of the finest silk. Then He moved it from my head and gently sewed it to a quilt of love that was being pieced together in my heart. “Head knowledge” had become “heart knowledge,” and my Father God had become Daddy the afternoon I saw both a little child and myself through my “Father’s Eyes.”

I grew up believing that God was distant and disconnected. Although I was aware He saved me from my sins, I really didn’t believe that He knew me or even liked me— much less adored me. It took many years and many revelations, like the one I just shared, for Him to convince me otherwise. But His loving persistence paid off, and I can now honestly say that I am not only known, but loved and adored by my Heavenly Daddy!

♥Heart Encounter ♥

  • How about you? Do you believe that God adores you and sees you as beautiful? Why or why not?
  • It wasn’t just the words my friend spoke to his daughter that touched my heart. It was also his expression. He looked at her as if she were a work of art. She was, and so are you! Do you believe you are God’s masterpiece?
  • Although my father loved his family, since he was rather controlling and critical, I saw God as being the same. I didn’t understand my value because I didn’t “feel” I could ever “measure up” to my earthly father’s nor my Heavenly Father’s expectations. What was or is your father like? How do you view your Heavenly Father?
  • I often talk to people about the father wound. But this past year I have met many people with mother wounds. I’m beginning to realize both wounds, not only affect the way we view ourselves and God, but they also affect our relationships. Have your relationships been affected by father or mother wounds? If so, how?
  • In Romans 8:15, Paul uses the term “Abba Father” to describe our relationship with God. The Strong’s Concordance tells us that Abba is also used as the term of tender endearment by a beloved child. It describes an affectionate, dependent relationship with the child’s father, daddy or papa. In the story, I mentioned that Father God became Daddy. To me the word father denotes authority or relational position, but Daddy speaks of passion. Do you believe that God is passionate about you? In your heart has He become your Abba Daddy?

As I mentioned earlier, it took years and many revelations for me to understand God’s heart for me. Without his being aware, my earthy father ended up participating in some of those revelatory moments. A few years ago I had the privilege of sharing with my father, not just my childhood pain, but the revelation and restoration God has brought me. Now that God has brought more healing to both of us, praise God, I have an earthly Daddy as well as a Heavenly Daddy.

Let’s Pray:

Daddy God, thank you for the beautiful quilt you are sewing in my heart. Continue to renew my mind with the Word and with your words of healing, as you bring me revelation and change my “head knowledge” to “heart knowledge.” Show me how my relationships with my earthly father and mother have affected my relationship with you and others. Thank you for loving me. I know you are passionate about me. I want to be passionate about you! I love you, Lord! In Jesus’ Name…..Amen!

 

Reflections:

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Counterfeit Fruit

In my last post I mentioned that I was asking God for more revelation concerning my past false definition of gentleness. By the end of the day I had written down false definitions for all of the Fruits of the Spirit. Since the Fruits of the Spirit are grown in relationship with the Lord, wouldn’t it make since that counterfeits of the Fruits of the Spirit would manifest in our lives through self-reliance or faulty understanding about God’s love and character.

When you and I don’t understand our identity in Christ or know what healthy relationships are supposed to look like, it easy to confuse the fruits with their counterfeits:

Lust feels like love- until you are finished using or being used.

Happiness feels like joy-until trials come, or you don’t “feel” happy anymore.

Denial feels like peace-until your circumstances become unbearable.

Passivity feels like patience (long-suffering)-until you’ve had enough. Then it can easily turn to rage.

Permissiveness or being subservient feels like gentleness-until you discover that you lost the real “you” a long time ago.

Self-righteousness feels like goodness-until you see your flaws. Then it turns into shame and self-loathing.

False responsibility feels like faithfulness-until it turns into resentment.

Enabling feels like kindness-until you realize that the people who are using you aren’t getting better and that you are paying the cost for their bad decisions.

So if the counterfeits fruits often feel like the genuine fruits how can we tell the difference?

The true Fruits of the Spirit bear good fruit in our lives.

Counterfeits will keep us guarded, Real fruit keeps us guided by the Holy Spirit.

Counterfeits make us feel intimidated or cause us to intimidate; Real fruit leads to true intimacy (into-me-you-see)

Counterfeits bring frustration; real fruit brings freedom.

Counterfeits are birthed out of pain, loss, disappointment, fear, failure and believing lies about God , ourselves and others. Real fruit is birthed out of passion, love, desire for relationship, faith, freedom, and believing the truth about God, ourselves and others.

The other day when I was paying for my groceries with a fifty dollar bill, the cashier shared a story with me. Apparently, a few days before, the cashier had to call the police because a woman had given her a counterfeit fifty dollar bill. The woman proved to be innocent, but since the bill was fake, the woman lost fifty dollars.

The devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy. One of the ways he does this is through counterfeits. Thankfully, because of what Christ had done, you and I don’t have to lose out when counterfeits are discovered, we just have to take hold of the truth and allow God to restore!

May the Lord abundantly bless you!

Jeannie

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly (John 10:10).

Chasing Love

Contributed by Melissa

Chasing Love is the title most people would have assigned to my life. Even as a young girl, I always felt something was missing. God has created all of us with an undeniable need for Him and Him alone. But I wouldn’t understand this for many years.

As a kid, my family always went to church. Even though our home life was not perfect, we knew “about” God. I had two stepfathers but never knew my own father. My mom and I were never really close, but you would have thought we should have been since I was the only girl. In my teen years, I gravitated towards boys because I felt inferior towards other teen girls.

Fast forward a few years… I dated a lot searching for happiness. I knew about God, but I did not have any real relationship with Him. In 1994, when I was sent to Bible School, my inner self was still seeking and unsatisfied, even to the point of depression. By the time Bible school was over many of my friends had gotten engaged. Inside I was mad at God for not making it happen for me. Within a year, I married the first man I met at church. It was not orchestrated by God at all. It was a big mess. Even though it was a very painful short marriage, I am thankful for my two beautiful daughters who came out of that marriage. I ended up being a single mother for nearly sixteen years. Through those years, I still attended church as I continued to search for a husband. Many wrong relationships resulted from my search.

Last year, I met a nice man online and married him very quickly. That too was a mess, and my happiness was short lived. My anguish and pain drove me to the Lord. While going through the divorce, I finally surrendered my whole heart to my Creator—the true lover of my soul. At this time in my life, He has blessed me more than I could have imagined. I now have true peace, joy, intense healing, and new friendships. I don’t even need my antidepressants anymore. I have discovered that my needs are met only through the Lord. He waited years for me to finally turn to Him. Jeremiah 29:11 has become so real to me now. My God has good plans for me. Plans to give me a Hope and a Future. Thank you for letting me share my testimony with you. 🙂

A Change in Diet

Last night after devouring some leftover chocolate cake, I told myself that I needed to eat healthier. So tonight I made sure I washed down my heaping helping of chocolate with some homemade chicken soup to counteract the effects of the sugar

I know this is messed up thinking. But I really wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

As I was slurping (oh, I meant to say sipping) the last little bit of my soup, I thought back to when this same type of mindset was prevalent in my life concerning my choices in entertainment.

Until I was in my thirties, I pretty much watched what I wanted to watch on T.V. After consuming a few hours of fear and lust based junk I would read my Bible and pray against ungodly thoughts before I went to bed. But no matter how much I prayed, the nightmares and tormenting thoughts would not go away.

I didn’t associate my bad thought life with the junk food my mind was exposed to until I heard God speak to me one night. I was sitting on the couch caught up in a sinister plot when I heard the Lord’s gentle voice: I would rather you not watch that.” I started to argue with Him, but instead, I ignored Him. The next night I heard Him once again tell me, “I’d rather you not watch that.” That time I turned off the T.V. and walked into the other room. Walking away from the junk I was putting in my mind was the beginning of my walking toward freedom.

As my diet changed from consuming mental junk food to thinking on what was pleasing to God, I lost all desire to watch the shows I used to watch.

The Word tells us in Philippians 4:8-9: “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”

God loves us so much! He didn’t tell me to walk away from the shows I was watching because He wanted to withhold something from me. He had me walk away because He knew what I was watching was a stumbling block to me. I needed to have my mind renewed in order to have peace.

I can honestly say that I have never regretted turning off much of what is on the T.V. Now if I can just learn to walk away from the chocolate cake. 🙂

May you be abundantly blessed!

Jeannie

 

 

Rising from the Ashes

Contributed by Josette Sanchez

After my Divorce, I felt so rejected I almost didn’t feel human. I felt like a complete failure. I had worked so hard to put my husband through the Nursing program at our local community college, only for him to repay me by leaving me for a girl in the Nursing Program)

I had been left with NO CAR, NO JOB, NO CHURCH, NO HOME, AND A BROKEN HEART THAT HAD BEEN SHATTERED IN A MILLION PIECES. Consequently, I did what most broken people do, I kept moving and acting like nothing was bothering me.

When you’re broken you want everything and everyone to help you to stop the bleeding!! So my two young boys and I stayed with my mom during my separation leading to divorce. Anthony was 9 and Kris was 4.

I was so heart-broken, (which is very different than being beautifully broken by the Lord,) that I had serious depression. It was like a black cloud followed me everywhere I went. I got very sick and lost about 20 pounds. I had such a victim mentality. On top of all that, I was the most negative person you could ever meet.

One day, I was lying in my bed, once again crying and feeling sorry for myself. Out of nowhere, Joel Osteen came on the TV!! He said,” You have Royalty running through your veins. There is NOTHING you can’t accomplish with Christ WHO STRENGTHENS YOU! Something in my spirit grabbed a hold of his words!! Then it grabbed a hold of my mind.

I had had a speech impediment since I was a child and would often stutter in high anxiety situations as an adult. My old thinking pattern would say, “That’s just who I am. I’m stupid. If I speak, people will know I’m just that.” But as I heard Joel Osteen, something inside of me rose up !!! …. AKA The Holy Spirit … You do know you have Royalty running through your veins. Don’t you???  Don’t you know you’re a daughter of the Most High King who can do anything with and through Christ ???

“Yes, Lord, I Believe!!! I’m Sorry for doubting you. I may be stuttering now, but with Christ, I will be able to clearly speak!!” After that day, I still continued to have days of stuttering. I couldn’t spell or type, and I continued to have debilitating migraines about twenty-four days a month. But every time I would run into an obstacle because of spelling, math, writing, speaking, and declining health, I would no longer make agreement with what I could not do. Instead, I made agreement with who God says that I am. He says that I am a Royal Priesthood. And that royalty is running through my veins. He says that I can do ALL things—not some things, But All things through Christ who strengthens me.

It has now been about a decade since I realized that I was royalty. Throughout the years, my stuttering has decreased to almost being non-existent. My spelling has improved, and I have better understanding when reading and writing. I now have my own house and car, and I have been a successful licensed realtor in the state of Texas since 2007.

God moves in ways exceedingly and abundantly beyond what we can ask for or can imagine (Ephesians 3:20). No matter what circumstances have arisen since my divorce, God has been faithful to provide for my sons and for me. He didn’t just provide what we needed but often gave us what we wanted, because He’s just that Good of a Daddy!!!!

Years ago, God showed me I was royalty. Do you believe that you are royalty? I would encourage you to stop looking at what you can’t do and start looking at what Christ can do through you. This is part of my story. God is still transforming me and making beauty from the ashes in my life. My story for His glory! What is your story? Are you ready for your story to be His story?